Ignorance is Bliss
by AlaskianCity
Summary: Oneshot. Dastan can't sleep...thoughts and memories of the deaths of his loved ones are torturing him. How does one deal with grief for people who are still alive?


**So this is just a quick oneshot...nothing special. I took a very brief break from writing the next chapter of Ostrich Girl to write this because, quite frankly, Bijan and Manelin were making me angry (I tend to talk to my character's while I'm writing them...is that normal?), and so this was born. Over dramatic, angsty, little one shot. Here we go!**

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_"Dastan!" _

The prince woke abruptly, sitting up straight in his bed. The terrorized cry still rang in his head, echoing through every bone in his body. Beads of sweat rolled down his cheeks as he breathed heavily, trying to shake the nightmare out of his head. Because that's all it was: a nightmare. It had never happened...not really.

But the events permanently embedded in his memory were still so _real_, or at least they felt real to him. He couldn't close his eyes, he couldn't even blink, without seeing Tamina's tearful, frightened eyes. It was all he could do during the day to glance over at his bride-to-be to see her thoughtful, determined eyes staring back at him pointedly. He envied her so much...for ignorance was truly bliss. But now, during the night, he could do nothing but try to focus on anything else but the horrible scream of the Dagger's guardian as she plummeted into the abyss.

Whenever he did this, however, his mind wandered to the deaths of his other loved ones. These were no less terrible to him. His eyelids became heavy as he tried to deny the coming nightmare of Garsiv being shot through the chest, coughing and sputtering about the strength of their brotherhood, before becoming limp in Dastan's arms. The prince fought back a scream as he tried to stay awake, not being able to escape that battle in the guardian's village. He shook his head, as if to shake the thoughts out, but he couldn't. His memory took him to the royal palace, where he stood before his oldest brother lying on the ground, a deep cut in his throat.

Dastan gasped and gripped his sheets, not able to fight back the sharp pain in his throat. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell so loudly that people could hear him all the way in Avrat. The prince couldn't take it anymore; he got out of bed.

Dastan paced the floor of his bed chambers, gripping his forehead with one of his hands. This didn't help...but still couldn't tarry the memories still grinding through his mind. "I wished we could be together," he heard oh so clearly, recalling that one moment of slight relief, when at least he knew that Tamina returned the same feelings he felt for her. At least he had that, he thought for a moment.

But then he had dropped her. She had slipped right through his fingers, and she had fallen to her death.

And it was all Dastan's fault.

He couldn't take it anymore. Dastan let out a wail of pure anguish as he sunk to his knees, unable to handle the pressure building up inside his mind. His chambers seemed burning hot, but not nearly as hot as the poisoned robe that had killed his father. His throat still stung, but non nearly as much as Tus's throat must have as his wicked uncle cut through it. His heart ached, but non nearly as much as Garsiv's entire body must have when the darts penetrated his armor.

And then there was Tamina. He howled again, that night being the very worst night for him since he had turned back time, his emotions seemingly wanting to burst out of his body.

He heard a knock on his door. Dastan fell silent for a moment, not wanting anyone to see him the way he was; but he didn't want to be alone any longer. He rushed to the door of the chambers and opened it, peering outside.

Tus was standing in the doorway, a worried expression on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, taking in his younger brother's disheveled appearance. "You're going to wake all of Alamut this way, brother." he breathed as Dastan moved to the side to let Tus in.

"I'm sorry...its nothing. Go back to bed." whispered Dastan, shaking his head. Tus wouldn't budge.

"You can't honestly tell me that staying up through the night screaming nonsense is nothing."

"It is. I'm just worn down from the battle today, I'll be alright."

Tus examined his brother's eyes. "You're not just troubled by today's battle, Dastan, your mind is somewhere else," the crown prince fingered his prayer beads anxiously, "tell me what is troubling you."

Dastan sighed. He confessed everything to Tus, blatantly aware that if Tamina had remembered that he knew about the Dagger, she would have murdered him for revealing the secret. Tus looked deep in thought, as if he was searching through his mind to remember the events that had transpired...though Dastan knew he would never be able to. Those events never even occurred.

Tus kept his eyes on the floor. "Get some sleep, Dastan," he said, still absorbing all of the information, "insomnia will only make these delusions worse." and with that, the eldest prince left Dastan's chambers.

It was easy for Dastan to fall asleep, the difficulty began after he had begun to slumber. After Tus's visit to his chambers, however, after Dastan had revealed everything to his brother, he did not dream of his death. Garsiv and Tamina's still ran through his head for hours, torturing the prince, but Tus remained alive. Tus was alive.

Tomorrow, thought Dastan, he would find his other brother, as well as his bride-to-be. He would sit them down individualy...and he would tell them everything.

**Well there you have it :) **

**Leave a review telling me what you thought, because I'm kind of worried that my angsty/dramatic writing was somewhat annoying. Also, let me know if you'd enjoy some more quick one shots like this. I'm open to pairing suggestions! :D**


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